Monday, February 13, 2017

CLEAN JOKES about women / men

24 (499x450, 36Kb)


In the hospital, the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where a family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and sombre.
      "I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news" he said as he surveyed the worried faces.
      "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant.
      It's an experimental procedure, quite risky, and you'll have to pay for the brain yourselves."
      The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. At length, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"
      The doctor quickly responded, "A female brain goes for $20,000. A male brain costs $50,000."
      The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.
      A girl, unable to control her curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, "Why does the male brain cost so much more?"
      The doctor smiled at her childish innocence and then said to the entire group:
      "It's a standard pricing procedure. We mark the female brains down because they're used."


There were 11 people hanging on to a rope that came down from a helicopter. Ten were men and one woman.
      They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't, the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go. Finally the woman gave a really touching speech on how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children and giving in to men.
      All of the men started clapping.


A journalist had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands.
      She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives. She approached one of the women for an explanation. "This is marvelous," said the journalist. "What enabled the women to achieve this reversal of roles? Replied the Kuwaiti woman: "Land mines !"


One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller; You don't love me any more..."
      "Nonsense, darling," replied the husband, "you just cook better now."