Friday, June 8, 2012


Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don't drink too much.  Then again, don't drink too little.  ~Herman "Jackrabbit" Smith-Johannsen

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk.  That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.  ~Ernest Hemingway

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.  ~Author Unknown

Draft beer, not people.  ~Author Unknown

The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity.  ~Author Unknown

When the wine goes in, strange things come out.  ~Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller, The Piccolomini, 1799

Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector.  It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully.  ~Graham Greene

If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim.  ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.  ~Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.  ~Raymond Chandler

This is one of the disadvantages of wine:  it makes a man mistake words for thought.  ~Samuel Johnson

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.  ~Lady Astor

A man who was fond of wine was offered some grapes at dessert after dinner.  "Much obliged," said he, pushing the plate aside, "I am not accustomed to take my wine in pills."  ~Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is disguised in liquor; for, on the contrary, most men are disguised by sobriety.  ~Thomas de Quincy, Confessions of an English Opium-Eater, 1856

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.  Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams.  If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.  Then I say to myself, it is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.  ~Jack Handey

What's drinking?
A mere pause from thinking!
~George Gordon, Lord Byron, The Deformed Transformed

Here's to a long life and a
                                      merry one
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer and another one!
~Author Unknown

You don't have to be a beer drinker to play darts, but it helps.  ~Author Unknown

Zen martini:  A martini with no vermouth at all.  And no gin, either.  ~P.J. O'Rourke

If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker.  If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic.  ~Author Unknown

Drunkenness is temporary suicide.  ~Bertrand Russell, The Conquest of Happiness

Wine is bottled poetry.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson

I like liquor - its taste and its effects - and that is just the reason why I never drink it.  ~Thomas Jackson

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.  ~George Burns

Wine is sunlight, held together by water.  ~Galileo

If you wish to keep your affairs secret, drink no wine.  ~Author Unknown

They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst.  ~Scottish Proverb

Bacchus has drowned more men than Neptune.  ~Giuseppe Garibaldi

A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her.  ~W.C. Fields

I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.  ~Oscar Levant

The drunk mind speaks the sober heart.  ~Author Unknown

There are spunky little angels at the top of a bottle of wine and fearless little devils in the bottom.  ~Terri Guillemets

I'm going to be around until the Atomic Energy Commission finds a safe place to bury my liver.  ~Phil Harris

Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.  ~Seneca

I drink only to make my friends seem interesting.  ~Don Marquis

Be wary of strong drink.  It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.  ~Robert Heinlein

I'd prefer to have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.  ~Frank Nicholson, attributed

Of the demonstrably wise there are but two:  those who commit suicide, and those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied by drink.  ~Mark Twain, Note-Book, 1935

Take life with a grain of salt, a slice of lime, and a shot of tequila.  ~Author Unknown

Drink the first.  Sip the second slowly.  Skip the third.  ~Knute Rockne

Everyone who drinks is not a poet.  Some of us drink because we're not poets.  ~From the movie Arthur

One martini is all right.  Two are too many, and three are not enough.  ~James Thurber

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Benjamin Franklin

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. -Humphrey Bogart

Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer. -Al Bundy, Married with Children

Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son. -Dean Vernon Wormer, Animal House

 I like my whiskey old and my women young. -Errol Flynn

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. -Frank Sinatra

Communism is like prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work. -Will Rogers

Don't bother trying to join the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. It turns out they're apparently against all three. -Wiley

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.  W.C. Fields