Friday, December 2, 2011

FUNNY STORIES





A funny short Story about a blonde





A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn't find it, so she asked a police officer for directions.

"Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?"

The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It'll take you right there." She thanked the officer and he drives off.

Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop. The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus. That was three hours ago. Why are you still waiting?"

The blonde replied, "Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now. The 45th bus just went by!"







Why We Live as Long as We Do...

Author Unknown



On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's a kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.  Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty."
And God agreed.
 On the second day, God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.  I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's too long to be barking.  Give me ten years and I'll give back the other ten."
So God agreed (sigh).
 On the third day God created the monkey.  God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh.  I'll give you a twenty year life span."

The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years?  I don't think so.  Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day God created man.  God said, "Eat, sleep, play.  Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy.  I'll give you twenty years."
Man said, "What? Only twenty years?  No way! Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty cow gave back, and the ten dog gave back and the ten monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."
So this is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, enjoy, and do nothing;
for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family;
for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren;
and for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.




The sick child and His Mother



A child came crying to his  mother and  complained that he has severe stomach-ache. She told him, “It is because your belly is empty. Come and have some food.” The child obeyed.


The next day the mother had a heavy head ache. The child consoled her, saying innocently, “Mommy, it is because your head is empty!”


On another occasion, the curious child asked his mother, “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?” She tried to use this occasion to reform him. “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!” The child replied innocently, “Now I know why your mother has only grey hairs on her head.”




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