PUNS
Teacher: What is the meaning of the word matrimony ?
Willie: Father says it isn't a word, it's a sentence.
***
Father: Think of the future, my boy.
Boy:
I can't, dad. It's my best girl's birthday, and I've got to think of the present.
***
Doctor:(to patient): Your stomach is a little bit out of order. You'll have to diet.
Patient: Yes, doctor. What colour ?
***
”Doctor, what is your favorite sport ?”
”Sleighing”
”I mean apart from business”
***
”Waiter !”
”Yes, Sir.”
” What's this ?”
”It's bean soup, sir ”
”No matter what It's been. What is it now ?”
***
Second angler: How are they biting to-day, old-man ?
First angler : On the neck and legs mostly.
***
The movie manager was furious. ”What's the matter ?” asked his assistant. ”Is anything wrong ?”
”Anything wrong !” he snored. ”Why, you've advertised for next week: ”Smiling Eyes - with a strong cast !”
***
Caller: I wonder if I can see your mother, little boy. Is she engaged ?
Willie: Engaged ?! She's married !
***
*****
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