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Sunday, November 4, 2012

WIFE and HUSBAND JOKES
























































© 2009 Chuck Ingwersen




















































Husband: Honey, when I die, will you marry again?
Wife: I am afraid I will. You know how much I hate solitude.
Husband: Will you let him drive my car?
Wife: Well, I think so. Husband: Will you let him sit in my favorite chair?
Wife: yes
Husband: Will you let him have my gold watch?
Wife: yes
Husband: Will you let him wear my nice suits?
Wife: No, he is shorter.





From his death bed.
the husband called his wife and said, "One month after I die I want you to marry Samy."
"Samy! But he is your enemy !"
"Yes, I know that ! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now ."





























A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while His wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: "Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen.
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.
The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the check book. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.
Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper,he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids,! and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love which he managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, "Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay ho me all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last nigh "














2 comments:

  1. Good Morning Dear Doina
    Simply fantastic.

    I will share these with my friends, in your name.
    Please permit.
    Thanks Regards
    God bless you
    My blessings to you
    Uma Maheswar Nakka

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for your kind comment and...I only have gathered materials, the real authors are the deserving ones.

      You may use any materials of my blog because I put them here for other people and I believe that Internet means ”sharing”...

      God bless you too Uma and thank you for your visit and appreciations.

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