TOP TEN REASONS WHY GOD MADE EVE (JOKE)

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently  become lost in the garden because he would  not ask for directions.

9. God knew that one day Adam would require
    someone to locate and hand him the remote.

8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy  himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would  therefore need Eve to buy one for him.

7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a  doctor's dentist's or haircut appointment by himself.

6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.

5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never  remember where he left his tools.

3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his  troubles on when God caught him hiding in the  garden.

2. As the Bible says, "It is not good for man to be  alone."

And, finally, the Number 1 reason why
God created Eve....

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He  stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that!"


....Apple  anyone ?!....

LOVING YOU - by Tamela Johnson

Loving you is like breathing it comes so naturally, you made me breath easy and my spirit feel free, loving you is like a symphony playing music in our special key, loving you is easy because you love me.









Loving you is like a song wonderful and sweet loving you is like that high note you think you can't reach. Loving you is like a melody that hit you in the heart and you know that the song is words that you wanted to speak from your heart.

















Loving you is like a tune you can't get out your head.
Loving you is like a gentle breeze baby you know your loving brings me to my knees. Loving you is like an ocean that roars against the shores loving you is easy because you made me yours.

Nothing to Fear - by Author Unknown

There's nothing to fear - you're as good as the best,





As strong as the mightiest, too.






You can win in every battle or test;






For there's no one just like you.






There's only one you in the world today;






So nobody else, you see,








Can do your work in as fine a way:







You're the only you there'll be !







So face the world, and all life is yours







To conquer and love and live:







And you'll find the happiness that endures







In just the measure you give;







There's nothing too good for you to possess,







Nor heights where you cannot go:







Your power is more than belief or guess






It is something you have to know.








There is nothing to fear --- you can and you will.








For you are the invincible you.







Set your foot on the highest hill






There's nothing you cannot do.

I MISS YOU - by Santana Hayes.

I miss you.
I miss being with you every second
and moment everyday and every smile
I see warming my heart knowing you love me
and taking my hand for I was your lady.
I need you back in my life.
For I miss you so dearly.
All the things you’ve done so clearly for me.





I miss you.
I loved the times you would walk me back home
But wishing we could stay together all night and forever.
I miss your hugs.
I felt so safe when I was around you, but now that you’re gone.
My worries are showing with everyone knowing not helping the way you would comfort me.
I miss you. I miss you!!

He Guide to Wife Translations (Joke)

The wife says: You want
The wife means: You want





The wife says: We need
The wife means: I want




The wife says: It’s your decision
The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious







The wife says: Do what you want
The wife means: You’ll pay for this later







The wife says: We need to talk
The wife means: I need to complain







The wife says: Sure… go ahead
The wife means: I don’t want you to





The wife says: I’n not upset
The wife means: Of course I’m upset you moron






The wife says: You’re … so manly
The wife means: You need a shave and sweat a lot






The wife says: Be romantic, turn out the lights
The wife means: I have flabby thighs.






The wife says: This kitchen is so inconvenient
The wife means: I want a new house.







The wife says: I want new curtains.
The wife means: Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper !




The wife says: I need wedding shoes.
The wife means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white.




The wife says: Hang the picture there
The wife means: No, I mean hang it there!




The wife says: I heard a noise
The wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep.




The wife says: Do you love me?
The wife means: I’m going to ask for something expensive.





The wife says: How much do you love me?
The wife means: I did something today you’re not going to like.





The wife says: I’ll be ready in a minute.
The wife means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap.








The wife says: Am I fat?
The wife means: Tell me I’m beautiful.






The wife says: You have to learn to communicate.
The wife means: Just agree with me.







The wife says: Are you listening to me?
The wife means: Too late, your doomed.









The wife says: Yes
The wife means: No






The wife says: No
The wife means: No







The wife says: Maybe
The wife means: No





The wife says: I’m sorry
The wife means: You’ll be sorry







The wife says: Do you like this recipe?
The wife means: You better get used to it








The wife says: All we’re going to buy is a soap dish
The wife means: I’m coming back with enough to fill this place.









The wife says: Was that the baby?
The wife means: Get out of bed and walk him








The wife says: I’m not yelling!
The wife means: Yes I am! I think this is important!






In answer to the question “What’s wrong?”


The wife says: The same old thing.
The wife means: Nothing.





The wife says: Nothing.
The wife means: Everything.







The wife says: Nothing, really.
The wife means: It’s just that you’re an idiot.







The wife says: I don’t want to talk about it.
The wife means: I’m still building up steam.