Wednesday, April 15, 2015



Teacher: What is the meaning of the word matrimony ?

Willie: Father says it isn't a word, it's a sentence.


Father: Think of the future, my boy.

Boy: I can't, dad.
It's my best girl's birthday, and I've got to think of the present.


Doctor:(to patient): Your stomach is a little bit out of order. You'll have to diet.

Patient: Yes, doctor. What colour ?


”Doctor, what is your favorite sport ?”


”I mean apart from business”


”Waiter !”

”Yes, Sir.”

What's this ?” ”It's bean soup, sir ” ”No matter what It's been. What is it now ?”

Second angler: How are they biting to-day, old-man ?

First angler : On the neck and legs mostly.


The movie manager was furious. ”What's the matter ?” asked his assistant. ”Is anything wrong ?”

”Anything wrong !” he snored. ”Why, you've advertised for next week: ”Smiling Eyes - with a strong cast !”


Caller: I wonder if I can see your mother, little boy. Is she engaged ?

Willie: Engaged ?!
married !


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