Wednesday, June 29, 2011

He Guide to Wife Translations (Joke)


TUBE FILLE DESSIN




The wife says: You want
The wife means: You want



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The wife says: We need
The wife means: I want



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The wife says: It’s your decision
The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious




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The wife says: Do what you want
The wife means: You’ll pay for this later



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The wife says: We need to talk
The wife means: I need to complain




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The wife says: Sure… go ahead
The wife means: I don’t want you to




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The wife says: I’n not upset
The wife means: Of course I’m upset you moron



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The wife says: You’re … so manly
The wife means: You need a shave and sweat a lot



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The wife says: Be romantic, turn out the lights
The wife means: I have flabby thighs.





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The wife says: This kitchen is so inconvenient
The wife means: I want a new house.





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The wife says: I want new curtains.
The wife means: Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper !



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The wife says: I need wedding shoes.
The wife means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white.



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The wife says: Hang the picture there
The wife means: No, I mean hang it there!



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The wife says: I heard a noise
The wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep.



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The wife says: Do you love me?
The wife means: I’m going to ask for something expensive.



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The wife says: How much do you love me?
The wife means: I did something today you’re not going to like.



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The wife says: I’ll be ready in a minute.
The wife means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap.



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The wife says: Am I fat?
The wife means: Tell me I’m beautiful.



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The wife says: You have to learn to communicate.
The wife means: Just agree with me.



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The wife says: Are you listening to me?
The wife means: Too late, your doomed.




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The wife says: Yes
The wife means: No



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The wife says: No
The wife means: No




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The wife says: Maybe
The wife means: No



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The wife says: I’m sorry
The wife means: You’ll be sorry



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The wife says: Do you like this recipe?
The wife means: You better get used to it



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The wife says: All we’re going to buy is a soap dish
The wife means: I’m coming back with enough to fill this place.




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The wife says: Was that the baby?
The wife means: Get out of bed and walk him



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The wife says: I’m not yelling!
The wife means: Yes I am! I think this is important!



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In answer to the question “What’s wrong?”


The wife says: The same old thing.
The wife means: Nothing.


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The wife says: Nothing.
The wife means: Everything.




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The wife says: Nothing, really.
The wife means: It’s just that you’re an idiot.



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The wife says: I don’t want to talk about it.
The wife means: I’m still building up steam.



TUBE FEMME/FILLE DESSIN

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